Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

–Sigmund Freud
I used to smoke two packs a day and I just hate being a nonsmoker…, but I will never consider myself a nonsmoker because I always find smokers the most interesting people at the table.
–Michelle Pfeiffer

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.
–Katharine Whitehorn

Divine Tobacco.
–Edmund Spenser

“Bug-Out” episode of M*A*S*H, 1976
A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a great body who also knows the American League box scores.
–Max Klinger,

The Picture of Dorian Gray
A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want?
–Oscar Wilde,

Night and Morning (bk. I, ch. VI)
The man who smokes, thinks like a sage and acts like a Samaritan!
– Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton,

The Second Neurotic’s Notebook
Good food, good sex, good digestion, good sleep: to these basic animal pleasures, man has added nothing but the good cigarette.
–Mignon McLaughlin

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.
–Winston Churchill

If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. 
~Douglas Adams

Smoke your pipe and be silent; there’s only wind and smoke in the world. 
~Irish Proverb

A nonsmoker is forced to find food, but for a smoker breakfast can be a cigarette and a cup of bad coffee. 
~Brock Fiant

The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Coffee and tobaccoare complete repose.
–Turkish Proverb

“To My Cigar”
Yes, social friend, I love thee well,
In learned doctor’s spite;
Thy clouds all other clouds dispel
And lap me in delight.
–Charles Sprague,

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
–George Burns

I hate cigarettes and thank God I did quit! When I smoked I said..
“I always say NO to cigarettes.. but cigarettes don’t speak English”
So I decided to ignore it and leave it alone, instead of learning Cancer language
-Saga Bin Kamil

Smoking and getting caught by your father is injurious to health…!!
-Abdul Ahad

If you don’t wanna see me smoking, then you better find other ways to keep my lips busy.
-Muhammad Ashfaq

Smoking is bad, but you can die in a car wreck too.
I can’t stand all those sad stories from people who died of cancer while smoking. My grandfather turned 81 and he smoked for about 65 years. Never had any diseases or anything, besides.. Nowadays you’ll get cancer from anything! I know it’s horrible if you lose someone who actually has cancer but we can’t quite help it. So excuse me, I’m going for a smoke…
~Author Unknown

A great chain smoker has only three wishes

1. Smoking,
2. Smoking, and
3. Smoking

~Author Unknown

My doctor asked me how much I smoked, I told him just enough to stay addicted.
~Author Unknown

I tried to stop smoking my special cigarettes but when I went outside the graphics weren’t as good so I sparked up a spliff and the world went back to normal.
~Author Unknown

Rehab is NOT for quitters… It’s for those who care enough for the ones they love, and for those who want to take CARE OF THEMSELVES again.
~Author Unknown

Smoking kills… but lucky for me, I like a challenge.
~Author Unknown

The best way to quit is to never start.
~Author Unknown

Smoking kills and Cars account for more than 35,000 deaths a year in the USA alone. Give up your car and both problems are solved, who wants to walk to the store for cigarettes?
~Author Unknown

The best way to give up smoking cigarettes is to move to San Francisco where pot is legal.
~Author Unknown

You say smoking kills and I say so do car crashes and serial killers.
~Author Unknown

Cigarettes are killers that travel in packs.
~Author Unknown

Cigarettes never hurt anyone, the trouble starts when you light them.
~Author Unknown

A cigarette a day keeps the doctor in pay!
~Author Unknown

I only smoke when I drink, I’m down to two packs a day!
~Author Unknown

Why do so many people care, its not their live its the smoker’s live. Personally I enjoy smoking my Hookah, Pipe or Blunt … or all together.
And if you haven’t notice, smokers are mostly the nicest calmest and nicest people.
~Author Unknown

Smoking kills, so does life, so whats a smoke a day gonna hurt.
~Author Unknown

A Smoke a day keeps the stress away!
~Author Unknown

If you are going to try the cigarette once in your life then please think about it again because cigarette will try rest of your life.
~Author Unknown

Be nice to the people who smoke cigarette, any cigarette might be their last cigarette.
~Author Unknown

Don’t ever hate smokers because its them due to whom thousands get their daily bread.
~Author Unknown

I really hate cigarettes. Whenever I see one, I lit it up.
~Author Unknown

I always think about quitting smoking .. but what to do … to think I need to smoke ..
~Author Unknown

To know more about LUNG cancer…….keep SMOKING !!
~Author Unknown

I’m not really a heavy smoker any more. I only get through two lighters a day now.
~Author Unknown

Harassing me about my smoking may be hazardous to your health!!
~Author Unknown

What’s worse than a smoker with an attitude ? An enraged non-smoker!!!
~Author Unknown

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven’t had time for tobacco since.
~Arturo Toscanini

To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I’ve done it a thousand times.
~Mark Twain

I thought I couldn’t afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: “Oh well,” and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.
~Benny Hill

ne thousand Americans stop smoking every day – by dying.
~Author Unknown

There’s something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.
~Harold Robbins

Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast. ~Woody Allen

Thank you for Not Smoking. Cigarette smoke is the residue of your pleasure. It contaminates the air, pollutes my hair and clothes, not to mention my lungs. This takes place without my consent. I have a pleasure, also. I like a beer now and then. The residue of my pleasure is urine. Would you be annoyed if I stood on a chair and pissed on your head and your clothes without your consent? ~Sign from Ken’s Magic Shop

If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action. ~Douglas Adams

It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. ~Mark Twain

If you must smoke, take your butt outside. ~Author Unknown

Smoke your pipe and be silent; there’s only wind and smoke in the world. ~Irish Proverb

Little tube of mighty pow’r,
Charmer of an idle hour,
Object of my warm desire.
~Isaac Hawkins Browne, “A Pipe of Tobacco”

A good cigar is like a beautiful chick with a great body who also knows the American League box scores. ~M*A*S*H, Klinger, “Bug-Out,” 1976

Much smoking kills live men and cures dead swine. ~George D. Prentice

If an addict who has been completely cured starts smoking again he no longer experiences the discomfort of his first addiction. There exists, therefore, outside alkaloids and habit, a sense for opium, an intangible habit which lives on, despite the recasting of the organism. The dead drug leaves a ghost behind. At certain hours it haunts the house. ~Jean Cocteau

The believing we do something when we do nothing is the first illusion of tobacco. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes. ~Katharine Whitehorn

Tobacco is a dirty weed. I like it.
It satisfies no normal need. I like it.
It makes you thin, it makes you lean,
It takes the hair right off your bean
It’s the worst darn stuff I’ve ever seen.
I like it.
~Graham Lee Hemminger, Tobacco

For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward. ~Jay Leno

Tobacco. Tumor causing, teeth staining, smelly, puking habit. ~Arizona Department of Health Services Tobacco Education and Prevention Program ad campaign, created by Riester-Robb Advertising

Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your cigarettes.
~Author Unknown

The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960
To smoke or not to smoke: I can make of either a life-work.
~Mignon McLaughlin

The Picture of Dorian Gray
A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want? ~Oscar Wilde

On CBS Radio the news of [Ed Murrow's] death, reportedly from lung cancer, was followed by a cigarette commercial.
~Alexander Kendrick

The best way to stop smoking is to just stop – no ifs, ands or butts.
~Edith Zittler

The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide.
~Kurt Vonnegut

Sonnet on Tobacco
It’s all one thing – both tend into one scope -
To live upon Tobacco and on Hope,
The one’s but smoke, the other is but wind.
~Sir Robert Aytoun of Kincaldie

A nonsmoker is forced to find food, but for a smoker breakfast can be a cigarette and a cup of bad coffee.
~Brock Fiant

Thank heaven, I have given up smoking again!… God! I feel fit. Homicidal, but fit. A different man. Irritable, moody, depressed, rude, nervy, perhaps; but the lungs are fine.
~A.P. Herbert

South Park episode “Butt Out”
There’s a lot of people who, a cigarette is about the only vacation they have.
~Trey Parker

I’d rather kiss a mad cow on the muzzle than a smoker on the mouth.
~Paul Carvel

Mad Magazine
Smoking helps you lose weight – one lung at a time!
~Alfred E. Neuman

What Will He Do With It?
He who doth not smoke hath either known no great griefs, or refuseth himself the softest consolation, next to that which comes from heaven.
~Edward George Bulwer-Lytton

In a gathering of two or more people, when a lighted cigarette is placed in an ashtray, the smoke will waft into the face of the non-smoker.
~Author Unknown

A cigarette is a pipe with a fire at one end and a fool at the other.
~Author Unknown

Please don’t throw your cigarette butts in the urinal. It makes them soggy and hard to light.
~Author Unknown

Tobacco and alcohol, delicious fathers of abiding friendships and fertile reveries.
~Luis Buñuel

The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
Good food, good sex, good digestion, good sleep: to these basic animal pleasures, man has added nothing but the good cigarette. ~Mignon McLaughlin

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
~Author Unknown

The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
I’m glad I don’t have to explain to a man from Mars why each day I set fire to dozens of little pieces of paper, and put them in my mouth.
~Mignon McLaughlin

I’ve been smoking nearly 50 years now. I just don’t feel safe breathing anything I can’t see!
~Dave Beard

Every Man in His Humor
Ods me I marle what pleasure or felicity they have in taking their roguish tobacco. It is good for nothing but to choke a man, and fill him full of smoke and embers.
~Ben Jonson

Cigarettes are killers that travel in packs.
~Author Unknown

Your clothes smell heavily of clothing. Your den is filled with low-hanging palls of fresh air. The only rattle in your car is the sound of toll change in the ashtray. The absence of telltale tobacco stains on your shirt collar tells the tale – you’ve licked the smoking habit.
~Robert Brault

Anatomy of Melancholy
Tobacco, divine, rare superexcellent tobacco, which goes far beyond all panaceas, potable gold and philosopher’s stones, a sovereign remedy to all diseases.
~Robert Burton

The cigarette does the smoking – you’re just the sucker.
~Author Unknown

The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
They threaten me with lung cancer, and still I smoke and smoke. If they’d only threaten me with hard work, I might stop.
~Mignon McLaughlin

Turtle Diary, 1975
What a weird thing smoking is and I can’t stop it. I feel cosy, have a sense of well-being when I’m smoking, poisoning myself, killing myself slowly. Not so slowly maybe. I have all kinds of pains I don’t want to know about and I know that’s what they’re from. But when I don’t smoke I scarcely feel as if I’m living. I don’t feel as if I’m living unless I’m killing myself.
~Russell Hoban

The Betrothed
A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
~Rudyard Kipling

Coffee and tobacco are complete repose.
~Turkish Proverb

“To My Cigar”
Yes, social friend, I love thee well,
In learned doctor’s spite;
Thy clouds all other clouds dispel
And lap me in delight.
~Charles Sprague

Now the only thing I miss about sex is the cigarette afterward. Next to the first one in the morning, it’s the best one of all. It tasted so good that even if I had been frigid I would have pretended otherwise just to be able to smoke it.
~Florence King

I used to smoke two packs a day and I just hate being a nonsmoker…. but I will never consider myself a nonsmoker because I always find smokers the most interesting people at the table.
~Michelle Pfeiffer

Forcing smoke down my lungs is pulmonary rape. It invades my body against my will, and it’s not fair.
~Patty Young

To some, the cigarette is a portable therapist.
~Terri Guillemets

Lord Byron, The Island
Divine in hookas, glorious in a pipe
When tipp’d with amber, mellow, rich, and ripe;…
Yet thy true lovers more admire by far
Thy naked beauties – give me a cigar!
~George Gordon

A Counterblaste to Tobacco, 1604
A custom loathsome to the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, dangerous to the lungs, and in the black, stinking fume thereof nearest resembling the horrible Stygian smoke of the pit that is bottomless.
~James I of Englan

The best way to stop smoking is to carry wet matches.
~Author Unknown